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keeping my head above water

The last few years have been difficult. Things have finally eased off. Stress levels have reduced and life seems to have gotten into a better flow. So why do I still struggle. I’m trying everything to improve my state of mind , my lifestyle and relationships. However one little thing happens and my head can’t take it. 

I’v started 
  1. exercising 2 to three times a few. 
  2. Eating more healthy. 
  3. Make time for friends 
  4. Fun activity’s with my children 
  5. Reading 
  6. Practice mindfulness 
  7. Deep breathing
  8. Trying new experiences
  9. Opened up to new relationships 


But one bit of information/news sends my head spiralling back.

  • Back into self doubt and loathing, 
  • over thinking the past.
I can’t change the past. Looking back I did do the best I could at the time. But this feeling of why wasn’t I (why am I) not worth the effort. The time of A conversation. To tell me they where not happy, to try to work things out.

When the only person I have ever loved and felt loved and accepted by, for who I was. Tells me that I’m not good enough. It is so hard to move on. Years down the line I can’t believe I still feel this way. 


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