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why wasn’t I worth it

Self sabotage. I would get an A* if it was an examination. I just don’t learn. 

I wasn’t worthy of a conversation of I’m unhappy in our marriage. I wasn’t worth putting in more effort. But for her you are learning another language.  

Oh my fucking God. Why does that hurt me so much. For the right person he will make the effort, go that extra mile. But for me he couldn’t be bothered to ask how my day went. Let alone do anything thoughtful for me.

Why do I go looking for this information thou. I now feel so crap and worthless all over again. And once again i’v brought it on myself. Because i cant let go. Clearly it’s me that’s the issue. He was like that with me and now with her. So it must be me that changed or did something. I feel sick and hurt like the affair was yesterday. I so need to get a fucking grip of myself 


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